Added: Rubens Leonhardt - Date: 16.10.2021 23:49 - Views: 15324 - Clicks: 9757
I am having a little trouble with my marriage, sexually. While I am quite kinky and highly sexualmy wife is not as comfortable with her sexuality, or communicating about it. I accept that, and have been encouraging her to open up, feel pleasure and tell me what she wants in the bedroom more. This has recently taken an unusual turn, in that I have been encouraging her to role-play being dominant over me, with some success. This has led to a lot of massages for her and very little oral sex for me!
I think this is positive, but I have not managed to find a balance or find a space where I am also able to express what I want and have my needs met.
I wonder if being submissive is what I truly want. Your aim might have been to encourage her to adopt a classic BDSM dominant role, but she has interpreted it as permission to demand that her needs be met — and this is not a bad thing at all. Try to view this as it really is: an important stage in her sexual development — and yours.
I am sure you know that BDSM is an advanced sexual style and that an awakening to power-exchange sex is a gradual process. Be patient. Encourage playfulness. Continue to allow her to order her pleasure from you. Very gradually, introduce the notion of switching between dominance and submission. Besides giving you some respite, this should help her — and you — to better understand and enjoy the pleasures of fluidity, rather than rigidity, in polarised games.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private. Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online and in print. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu. Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer.
Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site. Sexual healing Relationships. I urged my wife to be sexually dominant, but I'm worried it's gone too far. Composite: Getty. Pamela Stephenson Connolly.
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