Added: Sindi Seaman - Date: 06.10.2021 03:22 - Views: 22326 - Clicks: 8509
A person sits on top of another person, looking down at them and squeezing their cheeks together. Things are getting warmer, then hotter, then steamy enough that my dress comes off along with his band tee. He touches my breasts, I wrap my legs around his core, and then his hand drifts lower to my stomach.
I sense his reservations as he discovers what my stomach and thighs actually feel like beneath their pretty clothes. Has he ever dug his fingers into a visible belly outline or grabbed onto thick love handles? For many of my early dating years, hook-up scenes, regardless of the size of my partners, played out pretty similarly.
I started to crave the kind of intimacy and free-feeling, experimental sex so many early twenty-somethings around me were apparently having. I wanted someone to delight in my body — to enjoy it with me. I could explore relationships and experiences with those whose romantic and sexual preferences erred on the side of fatness. Although connotations of fetishism within social justice often define it as the exotification of marginalized individuals by privileged ones — to the point where the marginalized person becomes a trophy or object — my perception of fetishism when it comes to sexuality is quite different.
I would define it simply as a need, desire, or interest in the bedroom. There can be varying degrees to which the fulfillment of a fetish feels mandatory to any one person, and for some, it might not be mandatory at all. Fat fetishists the thin male ones, especially get a bad rep amongst many plus size individuals, regularly reduced to misogynistic perverts interested in banging fatties, carving another notch in their belts, and calling it quits at that. They are as varied in their backgrounds, body types, personalities, and romantic interests as anyone else might be.
The idea that a woman could identify as a fetishist — let alone as a dominant fetishist — still seems shocking or taboo.
In the world of fat fetishism, women of all sizes can assume any role they so choose. They can be the chubby chasers or fat admirersinnately preferring being with fat individuals than thin ones, regardless of their own size. They can be the feeders delighting in helping a partner maintain or gain weight because it turns them both on.
They can be the feedees or gainers delighting in gaining weight, whether with a partner or independently, because they feel sexiest and most fulfilled in a fatter body. Or they can be fat women who simply love boning those who are beyond turned on by their every wobbly bit. In fact, after the Channel 4 documentary My Big Fat Fetish came out invocal gainer model Stuffing Kit took to her platforms to make something very clear.
The documentary had suggested that her then-boyfriend exercised total control of her meals and weight gain. The truth, she said, is that no one tells her what to do. Like Kit, there are plenty of women and feminine people within fat fetishism who reign over their own sexualities — no male puppeteer required. The few semi-mainstream depictions of it like the film Feed present it as an abusive man manipulating women, force-feeding them into immobility, and having power-play sex with them until the ladies die of heart attacks. Maybe Feed was based on a truly bad egg within the fat fetishism community bad eggs seem to exist in any sexuality, no?
Maybe it was totally made-up. Not all feeders want to fatten up their partners, though. Instead, they might just love incorporating food and the act of feeding into the bedroom when the mood strikes. Whether eating on camera, talking about gaining weight for pleasure, sensually playing with their rolls on screen, or simply photographing themselves in boudoir-esque garms and locations, there are many ways to be a BBW model.
None of which are reductive or anti-feminist. The shaming of BBW models is comparable to the shaming of sex workers at large: the assumption being that these women are participating in porn or semi-nude work that reduces them to little more than bodies existing to appease the male gaze. In a still incredibly fatantagonistic society, she dares to express her sexuality and the glory of her fatness without apology.
For some people within the community who are actively gaining weight for pleasure, throwing caution to the wind is part of the appeal. But there are others who strive to maintain their higher weights alongside regular exercise, nutritional meals, and keeping tabs on their statistics through useful tools like visceral fat scales, which can determine and help keep in check the levels of visceral fat inside your body meaning the fat with the potential to wrap itself around your organsas opposed to the jiggly stuff on the outside. But even if fat fetishists regardless of where they fell under the umbrella never cared about their health, we absolutely must move past the idea that health is an essential component of social tolerance.
So if you are fat, and they like fat humans, you will never be more than a body to do i have a fat fetish person. They simply believe that fat bodies are incredibly attractive, and see beauty in all the traits tied to fatness that are socially condemned: rolls, back boobs, cellulite, stretch marks, thighs that touch, and so on. When it comes to many fat individuals themselves, myself included, the pleasure that can arise from exploring sexuality with someone who does not merely accept their bodies, but who revels in them, is no small turn-on, either.
One of the main sources of said concern is the fear that I will somehow lose sight of my own body and its needs by principally catering to those of the other person. Masturbating, for example, now comes with delighting in the softness of my form. When it comes to fat fetishism, in particular, we should perhaps question what it is that makes many of us so uncomfortable. Is it the notion that people could yield genuine sexual gratification out of their fatness or the fatness of others? Or is it that fatness, in and of itself, still makes us squirm? As humans, our sexualities are all complex.
Not everyone will approve or make sense of our kinks, nor should we necessarily expect them to. But what I think we can expect is for people to make strides to open their minds a little more: to understand that branding an entire sexuality, preference, or fetish with a judgmental brush of myths invalidates the positive experiences so many people can have as a result of participating in these communities or acts.
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